I just finished looking at your introduction in your storybook and I am very impressed with your storytelling style. Now, princesses are not really my thing, but I have to say that I loved how you introduced your story line. I can tell that these are going to be really great stories. I loved the star you added to the page. It made the inanimate star characters really feel alive. I could definitely feel their emotions as they told their stories. I am very curious about how the stories of these princesses will be turning out. I have not read any mythological or folk tales of princesses yet, but I hope your stories will inspire me to look into them more! I think the strongest thing about your introduction was the way in which you are telling the story. Telling it from the star's point of view as the protector was very smart and it has already drawn me in as a reader. I also really liked your title "The Tales of Princesses Past" very informative and your background!!! It seems to fit in so well with the theme of these stories!
Well you are making me want to go wish on a star so that they will write stories about me! I am astonished with what you have created! It is such a cool idea! Your princess photo for the cover page was beautiful. That along with your web page color scheme, really grabbed my attention. The star in your introduction is really cool! I love that it got bigger and smaller. This really helped (like Christian said) to make your stars seem more alive. I love that you are telling these from the stars points of views. It is not something I have heard of before and think it will be a very refreshing way to tell these stories. I am really curious to see if you are actually going to have the stars make constellation's in remembrance of their favorite princesses. Also, are you taking princesses from all cultures throughout the world? By using the stars you have a cool opportunity to do that. This way each of your princesses can be completely different than each other with their settings, beliefs, customs, etc.
I have to ask what made you decide to write about the princesses like this? I really love the idea (obviously), but I am so curious as to why each person decided on their storybook theme.
I really enjoyed reading the intro to the intro. It’s poetic and flows well, and presents the rest of the introduction quite nicely (if that makes sense). Also, the rest of the introduction is well written. The dialogue is far from stilted and awkward, and it is essential to understanding the story (rather than being excessive). I would say the same about the details in the narrative. You painted a vivid picture of what was happening with the stars talking to each other without going into the territory of purple prose (which I definitely appreciate). And I really liked how you anthropomorphized the stars. I think without emotions, the stars (and consequently your introduction) would not have as interesting. Speaking of the stars, I couldn’t help but wonder about the stories of the princesses after they gave teasers about two of their stories. In other words, your introduction got me hooked! I’m extremely curious to see what happened to all of these princesses. Also, I think that the picture on the coverpage is really fitting! The princess is beautiful in an unearthly way, which definitely goes with your whole idea with the stars trying to immortalize the princesses. The gif on the introduction page is suited to its page as well. Anyways, nice job! Keep it up!
Hi Des, I am going to be commenting on your google site as a whole. When I first clicked on the link to your page I thought that the title was a very interesting pick. I think that the title of your storybook really complemented page. I think it looks amazing so far. I would say far better than mine. As I am still trying to work out the perk of this thing- trying to make it look fancy. I think you have chosen to use an excellent image and font for you page. Going on to the introduction, I really enjoyed how your introduction is a quick summary of stories of princess that went through obstacles. I would so love to read more of your work. I think you have a very eloquent way of writing and I really think that your chosen genre goes hand in hand with that. I really wanted to read a little on your first story to see what you have in store for us. I love how you are going to use the star that watched over these girls to tell their individual stories. Could you imagine the endless stories the stars over us could tell. Great job so far.
Hi Desi! I have to tell you that from the moment I clicked on your Storybook link I was intrigued. For starters, your image is incredible. The striking face of the princess immediately grabs your attention and really made me want to further explore your page. The moving graphic on your introduction page was also a lovely touch. It added to the overall beauty of your page as a whole. I also loved the whole galaxy theme of your site background - it fits perfectly with your theme of constellations! This brings me to your Storybook concept. I think it is incredibly creative to have the princesses' stories told by the stars themselves. I can think of several stories in which princesses wish upon a star, but it never occurred to me to wonder whether or not the stars were listening. I really like how you have anthropomorphized the stars by having them not only tell their stories but show human emotion such as remorse, pride, and sadness I also noticed that you seems you will focusing on some lesser known princesses. I think that is awesome because it will be interesting to hear about princesses with whose stories we are less familiar with. I can't wait to come back and read some of your stories! Keep up the great work!
Wow I love your Storybook topic! The title caught my eye and was my extra commenting for this week :) I really love the story you came across to do your rendition of for the storybook. I have never heard of it before! I do agree with you in your author's note about the Cinderella-Rapunzel aspect of the tale. I'm so sad that the father never reached out to his daughter, though. I'm very confused as to why he didn't if he loved her so much! I have just two suggestions! One is that the ending seems to suddenly happen...like a cliff hanger almost? I am not sure if that is how you are wanting that to be or not! I wish the father would come get her or that she would receive credit for her art. And number two is that I was wondering if there could be any added insight to how the little girl is feeling? I didn't get a sense of her emotions the entire time, so if at all, maybe just when she's dropped off at the castle, have her have a big reaction? I don't know the original story, so I'm sure you're doing it the way the original is laid out! Just some thoughts :) Again, I loved it and I can't wait to read the rest!
Hi Desi! First I want to say that I am thoroughly impressed with your storybook! I chose yours as free choice and I am really glad that I did. The layout and the background of your storybook was so pretty and mesmerizing. As I read the introduction, I was very moved by conversation between the stars. How awesome is it that they are remembering the wonderful things about these princesses? I also love that the small dim star is the one who is telling their stories. The first story in your storybook flowed really well from the introduction. It was exactly the type of story I was expecting. It is sad that the princess was raised with such loving parents but she never heard from her father again! I was reading the previous comment by Hannah and I do agree with her that the ending was abrupt. I was very into your story and then the ending happened. I guess it has to end at some point but you may want add in a couple of thoughts from the princess before ending it or something like that! I am ready to read more stories that are to come in your storybook. Great job!
Hi Desi! I really liked your storybook! I'm from the Epics of India class, so it was so great to get to learn about your class by reading awesome storybooks like yours. I picked your storybook to read because, well, who doesn't like to read princess stories? Your blog design is so great-- it feels very ethereal, which I feel like was your intent. I like how you used the star animation to make it more interesting, and the images you chose really fit your theme. Your story is well-written, and I really liked the poet princess story, which I had never heard of before. I’ve not really read many stories so that the ending was altered to be sad, but you did it beautifully. It had a fairy tale feel without the fairy tale perfect ending. I like how the stars changed the story in a positive note although it didn’t perfectly resolve the story as I was anticipating. The author’s note was really helpful to see the original story and your thought process in altering it. I really enjoyed reading it, and I hope I can visit your storybook again sometime to read more. You are really talented—this story was really emotional, and it carried well. Great job!
Des, Thank you for you comment on my Week 1 Storytelling post. I plan to use this story in my Storybook, so it was nice to have some positive feedback over this story.
Thanks for commenting on my storybook! First of all, I’m glad you liked the art! I tried, ha ha. I just couldn’t find a good picture off the internet that really encapsulated all I wanted the picture to convey, so I decided to make one of my own. And I’m also glad you liked the flipped perspective! I thought it might be interesting to see the scene from two different viewpoints, if only for a little while. Anyways, thanks for the kind comment!
Oh Des, your storybook is wonderful!!! First off, I love the graphic appeal of it. It is very aesthetically pleasing with the galactic background, colors, fonts, graphics and the layout, so great job there! I also like that you added the unique touch of linking to the next page within the actual page and not just the side bar.
As for your introduction, it was so well written! Your writing style was great and you explained the purpose of the storybook, the stars and details of the princesses in a unique and easy to read/understand way. It intrigued me to read more about these princesses they hoped to remember and respect.
For your first story, I think my favorite element was the layout of it. It was a really great idea to use two panels for this story and put the story on one side and separate the graphic and author's note on the other! It makes it easier to read with less confusion, and I love that it allows the reader to be able to see the graphic right away to help pull them in.
Overall, your story was great and so well written! I enjoyed it, aside from the saddening ending, and I think you have done so well with this storybook idea!
I really like what you have done with your storybook so far. Starting with the home page, I think the font you chose for the both the overall title and the page titles was perfect. The futuristic sci-fi elements of the font seems to fit perfectly with the cosmic theme of your storybook. The background that you chose fits together seamlessly with all of these elements as well. In addition, asking the readers "Are you ready to be introduced?" was a great attention getter. I think asking a question and engaging the readers is a much better way of grabbing attention than just posting a link.
The introduction to your storybook does a great job of setting up where you plan to go with the story. I like the idea that every one of the stars were fond of princesses and that each had a story to tell about those that had wished upon them. The gif of the star is a great addition to this tale. Not a lot of storybooks have moving images!
In the first story of yours, The Poetess Princess, the stepmother reminded me of Cinderella in a way. I felt bad for the princess throughout the story, but this is a great start to the storybook!
I loved your cover page. I thought it went really well with your title and it was super gorgeous. I like that the picture goes really well with your background image, as well! When I went to your introduction page, I was not expecting a gif image, and I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Haha. I really like that you are telling the introduction from the star’s point of view. I think that is a really unique approach. I really like that when the stars are reliving memories or feel a positive feeling, they shine brighter. It is kind of like the strength of the princesses increases the star strength as well. I really love the pictures you choose to go with your stories. I thought the idea that the stars were recording the princesses in the stars to immortalize them was super sweet. The mother in the first story reminds me of the evil stepmother in Cinderella. Yet, how she was put in the highest tower reminded me of Rapunzel. Her story is so sad. I can’t imagine being alone all that time and never seeing my family again. I could see her sitting at her window and begging the stars for help.
Des, your cover page is really bold and unique and I like that! The background looks like a glittery night sky. It’s really easy to look at, and I can’t say the same for all the storybooks I’ve looked at. Your title font is really fun as well.
The fact that you used a .gif on your introduction page is so cool! Maybe I’m easily impressed, but I thought that added a lot. I also thought the premise of your introduction and your storybook was interesting and creative. The idea that the stars could see everything, including the lives and deaths of those below them, was something I liked. All of the images you used were colorful and suitable for your stories.
Your first story was well-written as well. Everybody likes a happy ending, but I found it refreshing that you reshaped the fairytale to something with more depth. When every story you read becomes happy ending after happy ending, things can get redundant. It was sad, but it made for a good story. As you said in your author’s note, I related this story to Cinderella and after you mentioned Rapunzel, I definitely saw that connection as well. Good job so far and good luck as you progress!
Hi again Desi! So we are teamed up again! I still loved the Poetess Princess story you posted a couple weeks ago, it's such a sad tale and it's beautifully written! I decided to comment on your introduction this week. Let me start by saying that I love the star .gif you found for the page! That is perfect! The shining and dulling movement goes along with the shining and dulling of the stars in the introduction story. At first I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me with the movement, but nope! I love it. The way you open your intro with "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" quote was wonderful. Usually I think of people when using that line, but you turned it around to use with stars viewing everything! It makes more sense with a galaxy view. The emotion you have the stars emit is so strong. I love how their feelings affect their brightness. You did such a wonderful job with this introduction! I understand why your first story was so sad now. I know I commented to make it less glum, but this totally makes sense. Disregard that suggestion! Haha there is always a method to the madness!
The Image on your cover page is absolutely wonderful. It is such a vivid picture that just pulls the reader in. I just sat there and looked at for a couple of minutes. The picture fits in to your color scheme great as well. The princess' body starts to turn in to stars after her neck creates a cool effect.
You had an ingenious idea with the inclusion of a gif on your introduction. I honestly never would have thought of doing that. Your introductions does a really good job in setting up how your stories are going to be told and a little bit of information of each story.
I really like the two column style, with the author's note on the right-hand side, that your first story is set up with. I like the feel of it. You create a good deal of sympathy that the reader feels with the way the story was told. It is definitely sad that there are so many greedy people in this world. I like the fact there there is still one bright note in the story. Even though the princess can't revel in her creations she can know that she is probably bringing brightness to other peoples lives.
I decided I wanted to read your story for my extra choice this week. I really wanted to look back on what else you have done to your story since I last commented. Your story is so sad! I was wondering when the stepmother came into the story if she would be the "evil step mother character" and she definitely was. I am interested with your alteration to the ending of your story. Are all of your stories going to end sadly? Or are some of the princesses going to be able to have constellations because of their heroic deeds and not die with sad lives? I think you did a great job with your first story. You definitely feel the injustice of what the stepmother is doing. I would have liked to feel more of the bond between the father and the daughter. I feel like from what you wrote in the author's note that it was a very important part in the original story and I didn't really feel that bond when I was reading your version. Overall, I really liked your story and I really like the direction you are taking with your storybook. I hope to read more of your storybook later to learn more about your princesses.
I decided to pick your storybook this week as my free story! I think it was so great so I’m glad I selected it! I think that your cover page is looking great so far! I really love all of the colors that you picked! I think that they all work really well together and complement the theme of your story! I feel that the picture is good and really helps the reader to understand what the story is going to be about. One suggestion that I have about the cover page photo is to make the photo a little smaller. I think it is good that you can see the whole thing right when you get to the page but it is also a little large. I think it may overwhelm the reader because there are so many colors and the picture is so large. I love your story the Poetess Princess! The first things I thought when getting to this page was that the layout looked great! I think that it was a great choice to put the authors note on the right side! I have not seen anyone else do that yet so it is so unique!
I really enjoyed reading through your storybook project! Although I did not read this particular reading unit, I really like your retelling and your author’s note was really helpful. Your cover page looks really awesome! I love the background you picked out!
The introduction also looks great. I really like the picture you chose; the twinkling star is a nice touch! Having the stars being the narrators is really interesting. I like the images you create with your descriptions, the clouds comforting the stars, etc. You also did a really nice job of setting the stage for the stories you are going to tell.
Your first story also looks to be in great shape. Again, I really like the picture. All of your pictures follow the theme of your project very nicely. The story definitely had the Cinderella and Rapunzel feel like you mentioned in your author’s note. Also, it did tug on my heartstrings like you wanted it to! It was sad that Hase-Hime’s father basically just gave up his own daughter even after losing his first wife. I cannot even begin to imagine how I would feel if I was in her situation! You have done a really nice job so far, and I am looking forward to reading more!
Since I commented on your introduction a while ago, this time I’ll comment on your first story! First of all, I really like your writing! It’s detailed and flows so well. I felt that I could really get a feel for the characters! And when you described the atmosphere of the palace, it was almost as though I could picture it in my mind’s eye. As for the actual plot, it’s so sad! You’d think that getting away from her evil stepmother would be happy, but it ends with Princess Hase-Hime still being sad, though through isolation rather than through insult. Like you said in your author’s note, her story ends up transitioning from Cinderella to Rapunzel. It’s too bad she didn’t get the end of Rapunzel’s story, though you did warn the reader in the introduction that all of these stories were going to be sad. Speaking of the ending, it also makes sense that the stars remember her, seeing that she was locked up in a tower and prayed to the stars to escape. At least she created a legacy, aside from her music. By the way, the picture is awesome! It definitely conveys the sort of celestial and mystical feeling of being imprinted in the sky. Overall, nicely done!
Hi Desi! I’m trying to look at storybooks I haven’t seen yet before I finish up the class, so here I am! I think the overall look of your webpage is great and the color scheme fits together very well. Most people probably associate the color pink with princesses, but an all pink page would’ve been pretty daunting to look at, so good choice!
You’re introduction was very interesting and I think the idea you have come up with here is extremely unique. A star as a storyteller is probably something that hasn’t really been done before. Secondly, I like how the picture on your introduction is to the right of the page and not at the bottom. You are the first person I have seen use this layout and it looks great.
The story is not one I have read before, but I think you have a very good retelling here. Once again, I like the layout of the page. I was reminded of the Cinderella as well when reading this and once again it looks like you took a unique path by making the story a not-so-happy-ending. It sounds like her cause isn’t completely lost though so maybe it all works out for her in the end?!
First off, I love love love your pictures! I really love the one on your poetess story. Absolutely gorgeous! I also think your storybook in general is really beautiful. Your background is great and everything is very consistent and well put together. My favorite color is purple so that was a bonus. Now I only read your introduction this time around, but I thought it was really good. I got a little confused halfway through about who was talking when. I think it would have helped if you gave the stars names or colors or another way to distinguish them from each other. It would also make it a lot easier to connect with the stars. I want to want to read more, but the introduction doesn’t do that for me just yet. But if you add just a pitch of a human element to all the chatty stars, I think it would do wonders! The last thing I have for you is your navigation. You’ve got two main fonts going on in your storybook (your title and your content), but the navigation isn’t in either of those. I really think it should be in the same font as your title to make everything more cohesive. Other than that, I really loved it!
Hello!! I would like to start by saying that I picked this storybook to read this week just because I loved the title of it! I mean who doesn't love a good princess story? As far as your cover page is concerned, I really liked the image you picked. It kind of looks like a fairy more than a princess though, so you may want to take that into consideration. Also, I think your introduction was very well written. I am obsessed with the layout you chose for this storybook, and I think the blinking star was brilliant. I haven't seen anything like that yet, so I think it stands out and is really cool. One thing I think would help strengthen your introduction though would be for you to fully introduce each story you intend on telling. I think that is always a good transition before the first story so that way the reader will know what to look forward to. I just know that I have personally really liked other story books that have done that, so it's just a suggestion. As far as your first story is concerned, I think it is very creative and well written. I noticed that you changed the ending though so it wasn't necessarily a happy ending, I think it's great you were creative enough to do that. Good job. Also, I really liked the imagery you used. It made me picture Cinderella and Rapunzel, just like you had wanted! Overall I think you have a great start to your storybook, best of luck on your next few stories! Can't wait to see what you come up with!!!
This was my first time to read your storybook and I really like what you have so far! I think this is a really cool idea for a storybook! I love the color scheme and fonts you used. I especially love the purple glittery background. The blinking star you used on your introduction page is really cool too. Actually, all the images you used are great haha. I really enjoyed reading your introduction. I think you did a really good job of keeping the reader interested and wanting to find out more. I liked all the details you used. They didn't bog everything down but helped to imagine everything. I really liked your first story as well. I definitely picked up on the Cinderella and Rapunzel vibes. This was really sad but really good! I always wonder why the father's never stop the stepmothers from treating their daughters like that. I think you did an excellent job writing this - it definitely tugs at our heart strings as you said in your author's note.
Overall, I think this is a really cool storybook and I can't wait to see what else you do!
Hi Desi! This was my first time reading your storybook and you have a fantastic storybook! The picture you chose for your coverpage is really beautiful! It also fits perfectly with your theme because it is a bit sci-fi and and fantasy-like. It is very captivating. Your background picture is also really nice!
As for your introduction, it is good! I was immediately intrigued after reading your first sentence! That is a sign of a great writer! Your detail is good and I didn’t find anything wrong with your grammar. Your transitions were good too. I found your introduction overall very cute and intriguing.
As for your story, I liked this one as well! I would say this is a homerunner! It is really intriguing and has really great imagery and descriptions! I didn’t feel bored or confused at all while reading your story. Even though I didn’t read the original story where your inspiration came from, your author’s note gave me a general idea and I can certainly see why it is one of your favorites. Now, I want to read the original story because your storybook was so good! You did an awesome job at this and I am looking forward to seeing how your storybook develops!
Hi again, Desi! I read your storybook introduction a few weeks ago and I couldn't wait to see what princess stories you would tell. I absolutely loved the first story about Princess Hase. You were right when you said it had a Cinderella vibe to it - that was the first thing I thought of when the evil stepmother was commanding Hase to clean the house. I really like that you've used lesser known Princesses but with somewhat familiar stories so it is easier to connect to the Princess. The ending absolutely did tug at my heartstrings! I honestly thought that playing music for the emperor was going to be Hase's happy ending. Even though I felt sad for her, I liked that you made the story your own and changed the ending to fit better with the theme of your page. I also really liked the overall message I got from your story that even when we ourselves are disrespected it is important to hold our heads high and be kind and respectful in turn. I think I mentioned this before, but I absolutely love the concept for your storybook as a whole. I like the idea that the stars are watching over these unfortunate princesses and while they may not be able to intervene, they can give the girl the eternal protection she needs by placing her in the stars.
I can't believe I haven't been to your blog or your storybook at all this semester. I thought I had read almost all of the stories, but there must be more people in this class that I originally thought. Your storybook title jumped out at me from the list when I was reading it. I am fascinated with space and when I read the word constellation, it made me want to read this book. I was also really interested to see how you were going to bring in the princess aspect of this story.
Your introduction was great! It was very an interesting thing to make the story from the point of view of a star that a princess wished upon. I never realized how many princesses wished upon stars until you pointed that out in this story.
I thought your first story was also great as well. I had never heard of this story before, so your author's note was very helpful for someone like me who was clueless about this topic. Your writing style is very different, but I thought it was great!
The overall look of your blog is sort of whimsical, which I think is great. It fits well with the overall theme and overarching story of your book and I think you did a great job there as well.
Hello Desiree!
ReplyDeleteI just finished looking at your introduction in your storybook and I am very impressed with your storytelling style. Now, princesses are not really my thing, but I have to say that I loved how you introduced your story line. I can tell that these are going to be really great stories. I loved the star you added to the page. It made the inanimate star characters really feel alive. I could definitely feel their emotions as they told their stories. I am very curious about how the stories of these princesses will be turning out. I have not read any mythological or folk tales of princesses yet, but I hope your stories will inspire me to look into them more! I think the strongest thing about your introduction was the way in which you are telling the story. Telling it from the star's point of view as the protector was very smart and it has already drawn me in as a reader. I also really liked your title "The Tales of Princesses Past" very informative and your background!!! It seems to fit in so well with the theme of these stories!
Hey Desi,
ReplyDeleteWell you are making me want to go wish on a star so that they will write stories about me! I am astonished with what you have created! It is such a cool idea! Your princess photo for the cover page was beautiful. That along with your web page color scheme, really grabbed my attention. The star in your introduction is really cool! I love that it got bigger and smaller. This really helped (like Christian said) to make your stars seem more alive. I love that you are telling these from the stars points of views. It is not something I have heard of before and think it will be a very refreshing way to tell these stories. I am really curious to see if you are actually going to have the stars make constellation's in remembrance of their favorite princesses. Also, are you taking princesses from all cultures throughout the world? By using the stars you have a cool opportunity to do that. This way each of your princesses can be completely different than each other with their settings, beliefs, customs, etc.
I have to ask what made you decide to write about the princesses like this? I really love the idea (obviously), but I am so curious as to why each person decided on their storybook theme.
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DeleteI really enjoyed reading the intro to the intro. It’s poetic and flows well, and presents the rest of the introduction quite nicely (if that makes sense). Also, the rest of the introduction is well written. The dialogue is far from stilted and awkward, and it is essential to understanding the story (rather than being excessive). I would say the same about the details in the narrative. You painted a vivid picture of what was happening with the stars talking to each other without going into the territory of purple prose (which I definitely appreciate). And I really liked how you anthropomorphized the stars. I think without emotions, the stars (and consequently your introduction) would not have as interesting. Speaking of the stars, I couldn’t help but wonder about the stories of the princesses after they gave teasers about two of their stories. In other words, your introduction got me hooked! I’m extremely curious to see what happened to all of these princesses. Also, I think that the picture on the coverpage is really fitting! The princess is beautiful in an unearthly way, which definitely goes with your whole idea with the stars trying to immortalize the princesses. The gif on the introduction page is suited to its page as well. Anyways, nice job! Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment on my week 1 storytelling post, I really appreciate your helpful and constructive feedback!
ReplyDeleteHi Des, I am going to be commenting on your google site as a whole. When I first clicked on the link to your page I thought that the title was a very interesting pick. I think that the title of your storybook really complemented page. I think it looks amazing so far. I would say far better than mine. As I am still trying to work out the perk of this thing- trying to make it look fancy. I think you have chosen to use an excellent image and font for you page. Going on to the introduction, I really enjoyed how your introduction is a quick summary of stories of princess that went through obstacles. I would so love to read more of your work. I think you have a very eloquent way of writing and I really think that your chosen genre goes hand in hand with that. I really wanted to read a little on your first story to see what you have in store for us. I love how you are going to use the star that watched over these girls to tell their individual stories. Could you imagine the endless stories the stars over us could tell. Great job so far.
ReplyDeleteHi Desi! I have to tell you that from the moment I clicked on your Storybook link I was intrigued. For starters, your image is incredible. The striking face of the princess immediately grabs your attention and really made me want to further explore your page. The moving graphic on your introduction page was also a lovely touch. It added to the overall beauty of your page as a whole. I also loved the whole galaxy theme of your site background - it fits perfectly with your theme of constellations! This brings me to your Storybook concept. I think it is incredibly creative to have the princesses' stories told by the stars themselves. I can think of several stories in which princesses wish upon a star, but it never occurred to me to wonder whether or not the stars were listening. I really like how you have anthropomorphized the stars by having them not only tell their stories but show human emotion such as remorse, pride, and sadness I also noticed that you seems you will focusing on some lesser known princesses. I think that is awesome because it will be interesting to hear about princesses with whose stories we are less familiar with. I can't wait to come back and read some of your stories! Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteHi Desi!
ReplyDeleteWow I love your Storybook topic! The title caught my eye and was my extra commenting for this week :) I really love the story you came across to do your rendition of for the storybook. I have never heard of it before! I do agree with you in your author's note about the Cinderella-Rapunzel aspect of the tale. I'm so sad that the father never reached out to his daughter, though. I'm very confused as to why he didn't if he loved her so much! I have just two suggestions! One is that the ending seems to suddenly happen...like a cliff hanger almost? I am not sure if that is how you are wanting that to be or not! I wish the father would come get her or that she would receive credit for her art. And number two is that I was wondering if there could be any added insight to how the little girl is feeling? I didn't get a sense of her emotions the entire time, so if at all, maybe just when she's dropped off at the castle, have her have a big reaction? I don't know the original story, so I'm sure you're doing it the way the original is laid out! Just some thoughts :) Again, I loved it and I can't wait to read the rest!
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DeleteHi Desi! First I want to say that I am thoroughly impressed with your storybook! I chose yours as free choice and I am really glad that I did. The layout and the background of your storybook was so pretty and mesmerizing. As I read the introduction, I was very moved by conversation between the stars. How awesome is it that they are remembering the wonderful things about these princesses? I also love that the small dim star is the one who is telling their stories. The first story in your storybook flowed really well from the introduction. It was exactly the type of story I was expecting. It is sad that the princess was raised with such loving parents but she never heard from her father again! I was reading the previous comment by Hannah and I do agree with her that the ending was abrupt. I was very into your story and then the ending happened. I guess it has to end at some point but you may want add in a couple of thoughts from the princess before ending it or something like that! I am ready to read more stories that are to come in your storybook. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Desi! I really liked your storybook! I'm from the Epics of India class, so it was so great to get to learn about your class by reading awesome storybooks like yours. I picked your storybook to read because, well, who doesn't like to read princess stories? Your blog design is so great-- it feels very ethereal, which I feel like was your intent. I like how you used the star animation to make it more interesting, and the images you chose really fit your theme. Your story is well-written, and I really liked the poet princess story, which I had never heard of before. I’ve not really read many stories so that the ending was altered to be sad, but you did it beautifully. It had a fairy tale feel without the fairy tale perfect ending. I like how the stars changed the story in a positive note although it didn’t perfectly resolve the story as I was anticipating. The author’s note was really helpful to see the original story and your thought process in altering it. I really enjoyed reading it, and I hope I can visit your storybook again sometime to read more. You are really talented—this story was really emotional, and it carried well. Great job!
ReplyDeleteDes,
ReplyDeleteThank you for you comment on my Week 1 Storytelling post. I plan to use this story in my Storybook, so it was nice to have some positive feedback over this story.
Thanks for commenting on my storybook! First of all, I’m glad you liked the art! I tried, ha ha. I just couldn’t find a good picture off the internet that really encapsulated all I wanted the picture to convey, so I decided to make one of my own. And I’m also glad you liked the flipped perspective! I thought it might be interesting to see the scene from two different viewpoints, if only for a little while. Anyways, thanks for the kind comment!
ReplyDeleteOh Des, your storybook is wonderful!!! First off, I love the graphic appeal of it. It is very aesthetically pleasing with the galactic background, colors, fonts, graphics and the layout, so great job there! I also like that you added the unique touch of linking to the next page within the actual page and not just the side bar.
ReplyDeleteAs for your introduction, it was so well written! Your writing style was great and you explained the purpose of the storybook, the stars and details of the princesses in a unique and easy to read/understand way. It intrigued me to read more about these princesses they hoped to remember and respect.
For your first story, I think my favorite element was the layout of it. It was a really great idea to use two panels for this story and put the story on one side and separate the graphic and author's note on the other! It makes it easier to read with less confusion, and I love that it allows the reader to be able to see the graphic right away to help pull them in.
Overall, your story was great and so well written! I enjoyed it, aside from the saddening ending, and I think you have done so well with this storybook idea!
Hey Des!
ReplyDeleteI really like what you have done with your storybook so far. Starting with the home page, I think the font you chose for the both the overall title and the page titles was perfect. The futuristic sci-fi elements of the font seems to fit perfectly with the cosmic theme of your storybook. The background that you chose fits together seamlessly with all of these elements as well. In addition, asking the readers "Are you ready to be introduced?" was a great attention getter. I think asking a question and engaging the readers is a much better way of grabbing attention than just posting a link.
The introduction to your storybook does a great job of setting up where you plan to go with the story. I like the idea that every one of the stars were fond of princesses and that each had a story to tell about those that had wished upon them. The gif of the star is a great addition to this tale. Not a lot of storybooks have moving images!
In the first story of yours, The Poetess Princess, the stepmother reminded me of Cinderella in a way. I felt bad for the princess throughout the story, but this is a great start to the storybook!
I loved your cover page. I thought it went really well with your title and it was super gorgeous. I like that the picture goes really well with your background image, as well! When I went to your introduction page, I was not expecting a gif image, and I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Haha. I really like that you are telling the introduction from the star’s point of view. I think that is a really unique approach. I really like that when the stars are reliving memories or feel a positive feeling, they shine brighter. It is kind of like the strength of the princesses increases the star strength as well. I really love the pictures you choose to go with your stories. I thought the idea that the stars were recording the princesses in the stars to immortalize them was super sweet. The mother in the first story reminds me of the evil stepmother in Cinderella. Yet, how she was put in the highest tower reminded me of Rapunzel. Her story is so sad. I can’t imagine being alone all that time and never seeing my family again. I could see her sitting at her window and begging the stars for help.
ReplyDeleteDes, your cover page is really bold and unique and I like that! The background looks like a glittery night sky. It’s really easy to look at, and I can’t say the same for all the storybooks I’ve looked at. Your title font is really fun as well.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you used a .gif on your introduction page is so cool! Maybe I’m easily impressed, but I thought that added a lot. I also thought the premise of your introduction and your storybook was interesting and creative. The idea that the stars could see everything, including the lives and deaths of those below them, was something I liked. All of the images you used were colorful and suitable for your stories.
Your first story was well-written as well. Everybody likes a happy ending, but I found it refreshing that you reshaped the fairytale to something with more depth. When every story you read becomes happy ending after happy ending, things can get redundant. It was sad, but it made for a good story. As you said in your author’s note, I related this story to Cinderella and after you mentioned Rapunzel, I definitely saw that connection as well. Good job so far and good luck as you progress!
Hi again Desi!
ReplyDeleteSo we are teamed up again! I still loved the Poetess Princess story you posted a couple weeks ago, it's such a sad tale and it's beautifully written! I decided to comment on your introduction this week. Let me start by saying that I love the star .gif you found for the page! That is perfect! The shining and dulling movement goes along with the shining and dulling of the stars in the introduction story. At first I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me with the movement, but nope! I love it. The way you open your intro with "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" quote was wonderful. Usually I think of people when using that line, but you turned it around to use with stars viewing everything! It makes more sense with a galaxy view. The emotion you have the stars emit is so strong. I love how their feelings affect their brightness. You did such a wonderful job with this introduction! I understand why your first story was so sad now. I know I commented to make it less glum, but this totally makes sense. Disregard that suggestion! Haha there is always a method to the madness!
Hey Desi,
ReplyDeleteThe Image on your cover page is absolutely wonderful. It is such a vivid picture that just pulls the reader in. I just sat there and looked at for a couple of minutes. The picture fits in to your color scheme great as well. The princess' body starts to turn in to stars after her neck creates a cool effect.
You had an ingenious idea with the inclusion of a gif on your introduction. I honestly never would have thought of doing that. Your introductions does a really good job in setting up how your stories are going to be told and a little bit of information of each story.
I really like the two column style, with the author's note on the right-hand side, that your first story is set up with. I like the feel of it. You create a good deal of sympathy that the reader feels with the way the story was told. It is definitely sad that there are so many greedy people in this world. I like the fact there there is still one bright note in the story. Even though the princess can't revel in her creations she can know that she is probably bringing brightness to other peoples lives.
Hey Desi,
ReplyDeleteI decided I wanted to read your story for my extra choice this week. I really wanted to look back on what else you have done to your story since I last commented. Your story is so sad! I was wondering when the stepmother came into the story if she would be the "evil step mother character" and she definitely was. I am interested with your alteration to the ending of your story. Are all of your stories going to end sadly? Or are some of the princesses going to be able to have constellations because of their heroic deeds and not die with sad lives? I think you did a great job with your first story. You definitely feel the injustice of what the stepmother is doing. I would have liked to feel more of the bond between the father and the daughter. I feel like from what you wrote in the author's note that it was a very important part in the original story and I didn't really feel that bond when I was reading your version. Overall, I really liked your story and I really like the direction you are taking with your storybook. I hope to read more of your storybook later to learn more about your princesses.
I decided to pick your storybook this week as my free story! I think it was so great so I’m glad I selected it! I think that your cover page is looking great so far! I really love all of the colors that you picked! I think that they all work really well together and complement the theme of your story! I feel that the picture is good and really helps the reader to understand what the story is going to be about. One suggestion that I have about the cover page photo is to make the photo a little smaller. I think it is good that you can see the whole thing right when you get to the page but it is also a little large. I think it may overwhelm the reader because there are so many colors and the picture is so large. I love your story the Poetess Princess! The first things I thought when getting to this page was that the layout looked great! I think that it was a great choice to put the authors note on the right side! I have not seen anyone else do that yet so it is so unique!
ReplyDeleteHi, Des!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading through your storybook project! Although I did not read this particular reading unit, I really like your retelling and your author’s note was really helpful. Your cover page looks really awesome! I love the background you picked out!
The introduction also looks great. I really like the picture you chose; the twinkling star is a nice touch! Having the stars being the narrators is really interesting. I like the images you create with your descriptions, the clouds comforting the stars, etc. You also did a really nice job of setting the stage for the stories you are going to tell.
Your first story also looks to be in great shape. Again, I really like the picture. All of your pictures follow the theme of your project very nicely. The story definitely had the Cinderella and Rapunzel feel like you mentioned in your author’s note. Also, it did tug on my heartstrings like you wanted it to! It was sad that Hase-Hime’s father basically just gave up his own daughter even after losing his first wife. I cannot even begin to imagine how I would feel if I was in her situation! You have done a really nice job so far, and I am looking forward to reading more!
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DeleteSince I commented on your introduction a while ago, this time I’ll comment on your first story! First of all, I really like your writing! It’s detailed and flows so well. I felt that I could really get a feel for the characters! And when you described the atmosphere of the palace, it was almost as though I could picture it in my mind’s eye. As for the actual plot, it’s so sad! You’d think that getting away from her evil stepmother would be happy, but it ends with Princess Hase-Hime still being sad, though through isolation rather than through insult. Like you said in your author’s note, her story ends up transitioning from Cinderella to Rapunzel. It’s too bad she didn’t get the end of Rapunzel’s story, though you did warn the reader in the introduction that all of these stories were going to be sad. Speaking of the ending, it also makes sense that the stars remember her, seeing that she was locked up in a tower and prayed to the stars to escape. At least she created a legacy, aside from her music. By the way, the picture is awesome! It definitely conveys the sort of celestial and mystical feeling of being imprinted in the sky. Overall, nicely done!
ReplyDeleteHi Desi! I’m trying to look at storybooks I haven’t seen yet before I finish up the class, so here I am! I think the overall look of your webpage is great and the color scheme fits together very well. Most people probably associate the color pink with princesses, but an all pink page would’ve been pretty daunting to look at, so good choice!
ReplyDeleteYou’re introduction was very interesting and I think the idea you have come up with here is extremely unique. A star as a storyteller is probably something that hasn’t really been done before. Secondly, I like how the picture on your introduction is to the right of the page and not at the bottom. You are the first person I have seen use this layout and it looks great.
The story is not one I have read before, but I think you have a very good retelling here. Once again, I like the layout of the page. I was reminded of the Cinderella as well when reading this and once again it looks like you took a unique path by making the story a not-so-happy-ending. It sounds like her cause isn’t completely lost though so maybe it all works out for her in the end?!
First off, I love love love your pictures! I really love the one on your poetess story. Absolutely gorgeous! I also think your storybook in general is really beautiful. Your background is great and everything is very consistent and well put together. My favorite color is purple so that was a bonus. Now I only read your introduction this time around, but I thought it was really good. I got a little confused halfway through about who was talking when. I think it would have helped if you gave the stars names or colors or another way to distinguish them from each other. It would also make it a lot easier to connect with the stars. I want to want to read more, but the introduction doesn’t do that for me just yet. But if you add just a pitch of a human element to all the chatty stars, I think it would do wonders! The last thing I have for you is your navigation. You’ve got two main fonts going on in your storybook (your title and your content), but the navigation isn’t in either of those. I really think it should be in the same font as your title to make everything more cohesive. Other than that, I really loved it!
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DeleteHello!!
ReplyDeleteI would like to start by saying that I picked this storybook to read this week just because I loved the title of it! I mean who doesn't love a good princess story?
As far as your cover page is concerned, I really liked the image you picked. It kind of looks like a fairy more than a princess though, so you may want to take that into consideration.
Also, I think your introduction was very well written. I am obsessed with the layout you chose for this storybook, and I think the blinking star was brilliant. I haven't seen anything like that yet, so I think it stands out and is really cool. One thing I think would help strengthen your introduction though would be for you to fully introduce each story you intend on telling. I think that is always a good transition before the first story so that way the reader will know what to look forward to. I just know that I have personally really liked other story books that have done that, so it's just a suggestion.
As far as your first story is concerned, I think it is very creative and well written. I noticed that you changed the ending though so it wasn't necessarily a happy ending, I think it's great you were creative enough to do that. Good job. Also, I really liked the imagery you used. It made me picture Cinderella and Rapunzel, just like you had wanted! Overall I think you have a great start to your storybook, best of luck on your next few stories! Can't wait to see what you come up with!!!
Des,
ReplyDeleteThis was my first time to read your storybook and I really like what you have so far! I think this is a really cool idea for a storybook! I love the color scheme and fonts you used. I especially love the purple glittery background. The blinking star you used on your introduction page is really cool too. Actually, all the images you used are great haha. I really enjoyed reading your introduction. I think you did a really good job of keeping the reader interested and wanting to find out more. I liked all the details you used. They didn't bog everything down but helped to imagine everything.
I really liked your first story as well. I definitely picked up on the Cinderella and Rapunzel vibes. This was really sad but really good! I always wonder why the father's never stop the stepmothers from treating their daughters like that. I think you did an excellent job writing this - it definitely tugs at our heart strings as you said in your author's note.
Overall, I think this is a really cool storybook and I can't wait to see what else you do!
Hi Desi! This was my first time reading your storybook and you have a fantastic storybook! The picture you chose for your coverpage is really beautiful! It also fits perfectly with your theme because it is a bit sci-fi and and fantasy-like. It is very captivating. Your background picture is also really nice!
ReplyDeleteAs for your introduction, it is good! I was immediately intrigued after reading your first sentence! That is a sign of a great writer! Your detail is good and I didn’t find anything wrong with your grammar. Your transitions were good too. I found your introduction overall very cute and intriguing.
As for your story, I liked this one as well! I would say this is a homerunner! It is really intriguing and has really great imagery and descriptions! I didn’t feel bored or confused at all while reading your story. Even though I didn’t read the original story where your inspiration came from, your author’s note gave me a general idea and I can certainly see why it is one of your favorites. Now, I want to read the original story because your storybook was so good! You did an awesome job at this and I am looking forward to seeing how your storybook develops!
Hi again, Desi! I read your storybook introduction a few weeks ago and I couldn't wait to see what princess stories you would tell. I absolutely loved the first story about Princess Hase. You were right when you said it had a Cinderella vibe to it - that was the first thing I thought of when the evil stepmother was commanding Hase to clean the house. I really like that you've used lesser known Princesses but with somewhat familiar stories so it is easier to connect to the Princess. The ending absolutely did tug at my heartstrings! I honestly thought that playing music for the emperor was going to be Hase's happy ending. Even though I felt sad for her, I liked that you made the story your own and changed the ending to fit better with the theme of your page. I also really liked the overall message I got from your story that even when we ourselves are disrespected it is important to hold our heads high and be kind and respectful in turn. I think I mentioned this before, but I absolutely love the concept for your storybook as a whole. I like the idea that the stars are watching over these unfortunate princesses and while they may not be able to intervene, they can give the girl the eternal protection she needs by placing her in the stars.
ReplyDeleteDesi,
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I haven't been to your blog or your storybook at all this semester. I thought I had read almost all of the stories, but there must be more people in this class that I originally thought. Your storybook title jumped out at me from the list when I was reading it. I am fascinated with space and when I read the word constellation, it made me want to read this book. I was also really interested to see how you were going to bring in the princess aspect of this story.
Your introduction was great! It was very an interesting thing to make the story from the point of view of a star that a princess wished upon. I never realized how many princesses wished upon stars until you pointed that out in this story.
I thought your first story was also great as well. I had never heard of this story before, so your author's note was very helpful for someone like me who was clueless about this topic. Your writing style is very different, but I thought it was great!
The overall look of your blog is sort of whimsical, which I think is great. It fits well with the overall theme and overarching story of your book and I think you did a great job there as well.